It's All About Power

Power - everyone wants it in some description.

Not many people actually want it when they get it.

I have spent my life wanting to have control. Control in itself is power. It is the ability to choose your own path and follow it, no matter how tricky it gets.

I know people who crave to control others and their actions. That has never been a factor for me. I would be a rubbish puppet master, for the same reason I don't have fluffy pets or play Sims. I get bored. How my kids get fed, washed and dressed on a regular basis is a miracle.

I go crazy when I get the choice of having cream on that or a new flavour syrup in my coffee at Starbucks. I do however have a talent for solving problems.

That is where my control lies. I can look at a problem and more often than not make it go away. I'm a great deputy. I no longer want to be person in the office at the end of the corridor.

I want to be part of something bigger, a community as communities used to be way back when. That starts with our children. But if adults cannot handle power or control their desires what hope to our offspring have?

Today has been a rollercoaster of emotions. That started with contempt and bile, now it's mellowing out to almost contented.

I know who I am. Those who matter know who I am. I have never hidden my wants, needs or desires. How they have been interpretted by others aren't always how I would like. This is not in my control, it is out of my power. So why let it worry me? Because that is who I am.

My reputation is the one thing I will not let someone take from me. That is under my control and if it means I have to work harder to make my message heard clearer than so be it. I am not going to change for anyone. And I hope none of you reading this will ever change who they are for anyone else either.

Now if I could just take that control and make it move my hand away from the fridge!